How to Tell if Someone Loves You
82How to Tell if Someone Loves You
Wouldn't it be great if the signs were obviously clear about love. I mean, you spend time with someone, they do a lot for you, you laugh together, go places together, they tell you they love you...so it must be love, right?
Understanding if someone loves you can be confusing because there is so much going on in the relationship that looks like love but doesn't quite feel like love. For every great moment spent together there could be 2 moments that feel like pain, grief and loneliness. It can be hard to tell if you are being loved when you have so many things to wonder about.
When trying to find out if you are the victim of love. You will need to understand exactly what love is and what love does. On the other hand, you will need to know what lust is and what lust does.Knowing the difference will help you decide how your mate feels about you.
Love and Lust - Whats the Difference?
Love and Lust are two very strong emotions that feel quite the same. They feel so much alike they are often mistaken for one another. Some people that are in Lust think they are in Love. This mistaken identity is the main cause for relationships that are troubled with disrespect, inconsideration, and lack of appreciation.
Both Love and Lust can be fun, exciting, and give you that "butterflies in the stomach" feeling. But only one will stand against the storm and fight till the end for you.
Attributes of Love:
- Love is committed to the relationship, it will make sacrifices for you, it will inconvenience itself for you, and your feelings will always comes first.
- Love will take the time to get to know more about you, your family, your career, your likes and dislikes. Love will know your favorite color, what makes you laugh and what makes you cry. It loves being with you in any way it can, even if it's just cooking with you, watching T.V. or just watching you talk on the phone. Love isn't sex driven, it's driven off you as a person. You are the one that makes the other happy, not sex. Sex is only an extension of that love.
Attributes of Lust:
- Lust is not committed to the relationship. It will not make sacrifices for you, it will almost never inconvenience itself for you and your feelings most of the time will be second.
- Lust will not take
the time to get to know more about you, your family, your career, your
likes and dislikes. Lust doesn't know your favorite color or what makes
you laugh or cry. Lust will want to see you every time for sex and if
you don't want to have sex, there will be an attitude. Lust is driven off sex. It's sex that makes the other happy, not you. Sex is very important and without it, the relationship stands to suffer.
Love is actually very hard. It takes a lot of self sacrificing and patience. It takes a special person to care enough to deal with issues and problems that may come up in a relationship in a way that shows compassion. Love will look for the cause of problems and fix it. People that can do this understand that if you love someone, there is no option but to work to hold the relationship together.
Lust looks for the easy way out of issues and problems that may come up in a relationship. They may look to sex as a fix for problems instead of trying to get to the root of the problem. Lust will be very impatient when issues arise and sometimes turn to other relationships for a sense of relief. Lust looks for options to get out of the relationship when things gets rough.
Love is having a Friendship
The thing with love is, there is a real friendship involved between two people that love each other. They can talk about anything, look to each other for advice, they trust one another, and no one can tear the friendship apart.
Love speaks in terms of "us" and "we". There is talk of marriage and a future together. A person that loves you and plans on having you in their life long term will make sure that friends and family know you. If there are kids, they will start to bring the kids around you.
Looking at the characteristics of Love and Lust will help you to understand where your mate may stand with you. How to Tell if Someone Loves You, is really understanding what Love really is. Hopefully this article has given you some insight and direction.
Need help and advice? Check out these resources below:
Love
Relationship Help
- Signs of Love - How to Detect Them | How Do I Know If He Loves Me
Are you having a hard time reading your mate? Can't quite tell if he loves you? Here's a great article to help you read the signs of love and detect them quickly! - Do You Love Me?- Understanding Love and Lust
Do you know How to tell if someone loves you? Discover the truth behind why you may feel your mate does not love you.
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Hi Tessy. Sometimes dealing with the opposite sex can be challenging. However, it will ultimately be up to you to decide if the relationship is something you want to try to make work.
It takes two to make it work. If he's not willing to work with you, then decide if just a normal friendship is better. Sometimes folks make better friends than lovers.
Don't be afraid of a normal friendship, sometimes re-discovering a friendship can lead to a better relationship the second time around.
The main thing right now is to make sure the two of you are able to raise your child without letting the child sense or see any bickering and fighting.
Sometimes you have to let go in order to get things right again. Giving yourself time to re-evaluate what it is you really want in your relationship or to see if he's even your "kind".
You can not make anyone love you. Don't waste time trying to make someone love you or stay when they want to leave. You may end up missing out on someone that will love you the way you want to be loved.
I always hope the best for couples, but understand sometimes it just wasn't meant to be. Take time out to think about things and make a decision that's best for you and your child.
what about when you okay with your relationship but the perents is not happy at all
Pele... depending on how old you are will play a role in how you should approach this.
If you live at home with mom and dad and still at the age where mom and dad run the household. You could try to "maintain" your "relationship" in such a way you can still respect your parents. A person that trully loves you, will respect your parents and work with you.
There are many ways the two of you can hang out with friends and have fun without upsetting the parents. Don't try to be sneaky when there are more open options available. Being sneaky is what usually gets parents uneasy.
Once you are of age and out of their home, moving deeper into the relationship will be your choice. And.. you may find having waited and being friends for that time will have made your love stronger and really put it to the test.
As adults, sometimes we make choices that our parents may not be happy with. The key is to always let your parents know you love and respect their opinion, but your going to give the relationship a try and hope they can respect your decision.
In doing this it's key the two of you in the realtionship work together to let your parents see with their own eyes that it's really love and not a fly by night relationship. Most parents eventually do get over it.
It's easy to let the tension of parents not liking your relationship upset the househould. Don't let this be the case with you. No matter what try to remain respectful, even if they are not happy. You could even try asking the parents what is it they don't like. Maybe it's something that can be discussed.
Never turn it into a heated "I'm gonna do what I want to do". Always respectfully do what your gonna do. At least in the end, you have offended no one and you've shown you know the real meaning of love. Who can't respect that?
Good Luck to You!
hello. What if you feel that a certain someone loves you, but sometimes wonder if your feeling is even right? He seems to really care about me, but since he has not told me so yet, I am starting to get worried.
Hi Tytto, If the relationship is fairly new then he's probably still in the process of getting to love you. If he's doing all the right things such as in the article above that's a good sign that love could be right around the corner. Give it some time, Don't keep asking if he loves you. The best love is from someone that has learned to love you naturally and can say it naturally.
If you feel this isn't a new relationship or more than enough time has passed to hear I Love You, the best thing to do is ask how he feels. Generally, at this stage, even if he doesn't say I love you every day, he at least should be saying it a few times. Lovingly let him know you want to talk. If he's open to it, that's an indicator that he loves you enough to do so. Don't stress yourself wondering. A man that cares about you, should answer your concerns (also an indicator of love). Talk over coffee or a nice lunch.
Sometimes too, when relationships are new it's hard for a man to tell his new girlfriend "I Love You" because he's still trying to get over the last relationship. Telling the new girlfriend or female friend I love you, feels like he is closing the door on the last relationship. A door that he may not want shut just yet. It doesn't mean he doesn't "love" and care about you, just means he's not over the last relationship. In time, this should go away as he begins to move forward with his new relationship. When the old relationship is out his system, saying I love you becomes easier. Paying close attention will help you understand whats going on, and if a conversation is needed.
Without really knowing the specifics of your relationship, I can only be general with advice. But if you are feeling unsure, Talk to him, find out what's on his mind. From the conversation, you can better gage if "Love" is in the air.
What if the person you love doesn't love you now? He/she doesn't care about yu? What should one do to get their love back?
If you feel someone doesn't love or care about you and you want their love back. The first thing not to do is become a nuisance and appearing to desperately need them to live. Things like constantly texting and calling, or showing up at their home can drive a person away.
While this may seem like the thing to do to get them to notice you. It actually can drive them further away. No one is going to be with you or love you out of pitty.
The hardest thing to do in this situation will be to step back and allow some breathing room. Give that person an opportunity to wonder what happened to you or wonder why you are not calling any more.
Get yourself together, go out with friends, start feeling good about yourself. After sometime has passed send them a letter and just apologize for some things that may have been said and done. Let them know, you were just thinking of them.
Your goal will be to appear to have a better out look on things. Contact them only on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, etc. This will let them know your genuinely interested in their well being.
This will be a road to go down slow. Till you get to the point they are seeing you in a different light and hearing through mutual friends how great you are doing. Eventually they should start to respond positive and friendly as they feel you've "changed your focus".
When you have given enough time to build up trust and peace, you can then decide if you want to tackle asking them out for a friendly lunch. However, you may find that you like things the way they are and not want to do lunch..don't be surprised.
True love never dies, it can resurface even if it isn't romantic love. Time and space is the key though. Give lots of time and space for healing and putting away the past.
Often people get over sour relationships and can find a way to be friends again. But that comes with time. Don't force or push it right now. The outcome will not be what you want.
How soon can love come back. I've seen it come back after several months of space, sometimes a year or more. The good news is when love does come back, you are so even headed you can make the choice to be in or out. You are not feeling lost and hopeless as you did in the beginning and that's a beautiful thing.
I have a very good friend that I've known for a little over a year. We hit it off right away. He had a girlfriend for the majority of the year but they broke up about 5 months ago. I was always there to give him advice and help him through rough patches, especially after they broke up.
A month or so after the break-up, we became very very close and he proposed a friends-with-benefits situation. I have never been more compatible with anyone as I have with this friend. It's been 4 months now, and he said he wants to be exclusive; however, he won't commit to an actual relationship. He refuses to say he's 'dating' me and he won't accept me calling him my boyfriend. We do everything any normal couple would do-- except, of course, admit that we're "together".
His excuses are numerous and they do make sense...
- college is coming up soon, we don't know how far apart we'd be when that comes around. Neither of us want a long-distance thing.
- he needs more closure with his ex before he announces any changed relationship status
- my mom is more than a little controlling and manipulative, and he doesn't really want to be connected to her
He's the sweetest, most honest guy I know. I just want him to commit to me... I want everyone to know just how happy he makes me! He said if it was not for the reasons listed above, he would have asked me out ages ago.
Should I just let this relationship go wherever it goes?
Hey . What should you do if we live eachother but we dont see eachother and thats making things hard
I dont see my boyfriend alot but i love him so much the last tim i saw him was two mounths ago, is that a relationship that is wroth fighting for?
Some how yes it's a relationship
Kay I'm not sure how I missed your comment. But if you are still searching for an answer to the man who will not commit to you I just want to say:
If you are not serious about the relationship and going in with the understanding its just a friends with benefits thing, then it may be "ok" to see where it goes. But in this kind of situation, if you are looking for it to go further you may find yourself pressing and hinting to him you want more which may cause him to back away. It can also cause tension in the friendship as this is not what he wants.
I'm sure he makes you happy, but sex changes the scope of a relationship and your emotions get involved making not having that person the way you want hard to deal with. Eventually that can take a toll on you and soon you will wonder why all your efforts to be the "perfect" woman go unseen by him.
Some men will only do what you allow. So if you allow him the benefits of a relationship without a commitment, then there isn't a reason for him to commit to you and he'll ride this as long as you allow it.
If you decide to "see where it goes", let his actions right now clue you in to his thought process and know it may not be an all out romantic situation, but more of a buddy type thing. I think you and him are on 2 different pages when it comes to being a couple. You're looking for serious love, he's looking to have something more fun physical. Approach with caution to avoid a broken heart.
Men that don't want to commit usually have some distraction in their life they are not ready to get rid of. Like maybe his EX. A man that is into you will commit to you.
Stacy, People that Love each other make a way to see each other. Quality time together is high priority.
I would say the two of you should talk about seeing each other more and discuss/plan how you are going to make it happen. You can do this even if it's a long distance relationship.
Wanting to spend time together is one of the signs of true Love, even if you just get together for a cup of coffee and talk. Your just happy to be together.
Ariana..You haven't seen your boyfriend in 2 months? Well without much information or history on your relationship..I'm wondering how/why the two of you have went so long without seeing each other.
How things were before the 2 month sight unseen situation, determines the worth of your fight. If it was a loving and caring situation and he treated you with love and respect. Then yes it may be worth "fighting" for.
If your situation was on rocky ground prior to the 2 months you haven't seen him and he seemed to be more gone than with you anyway.. you may need to ask yourself is it really worth it and does it look like the relationship can be repaired?
I can only see "fighting" for what I feel like was real love, respect and that "hard to find kind of guy". You know the one that isn't perfect but loves you half to death and would do anything for you.
You asked a good question but I need to know a little more about your relationship to say if it's worth fighting for. But hopefully this helped.
Hi, I read your article and I don't really want to admit it but I think my husband falls in the lust category. Everything that you have listed he's done. He's very selfish. He even goes as far as buying $1000"s of electronics without consulting me. Then when there's time for Christmas or money for traveling w\ the church we don't have it. Not mention sex! When I give it I'm the best wife ever, but when I don't he goes as far as catching attitudes and avoiding me. I'm tired of the nonsense! I was wondering what could I do to change things. I love him and I want things to work but I know I can't do this by myself.
Hi Mrs Lady! Only you know how your husband is. If you say you think it's more lust than love. I'm sure you have your reasons beyond what you are commenting on here.
However, Love is a two way street and you can not make anyone love you. Love falls into place naturally without a force or a push.
My advice to you is not lose yourself in trying to get him to love you. Sometimes we as women can get frustrated and it comes out in the form of being very voicetress about how we feel. This can sometimes have a negative affect and just make him irritated at what he feels is constant complaining about "how he is", then in turn he see's you as a nagger. If he hasn't began to love you, this will only make it harder to.
So your goal will be to keep your grace so he doesn't have much to say about you, except you've been patient and your a good woman. This will make getting to love you easier if he hasn't gotten to that point yet.
The 2 of you will need to work on working together. I'm not sure if he's open to talking. But clearing the air about whats going on in the relationship need to be done. Communication needs to happen. Even if it's not about love, if your going to be together then you 2 will have to learn to work together.
You mentioned church? It may be a good idea to get a counsel from your Pastor. But again, he will need to be open to the idea of getting help to make the relationship better.
If he's not open to talking or counseling and stuck on "this is how I am" you may be traveling down a long rocky road. Because you are right you can't do it alone.
Fixing the problem starts with correcting anything you may be doing to aggravate the situation in your household. Then work on getting him to sit and talk with you. By doing things this way, shows you are not putting all the blame on him and not pointing fingers. You are "fighting" fair and making yourself part of the solution.
Hopefully he'll open up to you and you guys can work it out.
Hey what to do if you do something to hurt your boyfriend and he tells you he till will love you just not the same is that a realtionship worth staying in.
i im in lv
@ elsa... I think you are saying you're in love. If after reading this article you feel you are, then you just might be! Good Luck to you..
@jackie, If you did something to hurt your boyfriend and you feel it just isn't the same you'll need to decide: if it's really not the same for you or is it not the same for him.
Understanding where the problem lye's mean talking to him and the two of you come to an understanding as to "where it isn't the same" anymore. Once you know this information, you and him can then move forward with fixing your relationship. It's never you alone doing the fixing.
If the two of you love each other still, but having trouble getting over whatever you did..yes it can still be "worth staying in".
I say this because no relationship is perfect and problems can be worked out. However, it won't be easy and it won't be an overnight fix. It will take a lot and I mean a lot of patience on both sides.
But again communication will be your best bet here. It will take the two of you coming together and working together to rebuild your relationship. You can't do it alone, he has to be willing as well. Love is a two way street.
Good Luck to You!
...well I certainly love your hubs - with your expertise and world class journalistic skills you could probably put Cosmopolitan magazine out of business .....lake erie time ontario canada 11:29pm not too far from you actually ; how is the weather over there ; here, it's still relatively mild and rainy but no snow, yet!!!!
@epigramman Thank you so much! The weather is cold with some light snow. We've been lucky so far... haven't got hit with the "big one" yet. Appreciate you stopping by!
love is wen ppl is willin to sacrifices everything for an is ready to meet ur family an b secious abt life ppl plz dont get caught up wit lust an den say it is love
Hi shane
How do I know he loves me or cares for me. He does sacrifice alot for me. He says he doesn't believe in telling people he love them, that is superificial. Here lately, I've found myself discovering that, I care a great deal for him. He is very sarcastic at times. it feels as if he is pushing me to see how I will react before he reacts.
thank u people I don't no
I hope you guys work out tell me if it does.
I am trying to figure out if my ex husband really ever loved me. We are divorced and I have done everything in my power to work things out. I have prayed and begged with all my heart. We were only married a year and together 2. In the beginning and all thought the relationship we took on alot example: Started and went through a custody battle for his son, built an addition onto our house, and dealt with untruths that he brought into the relationship. I loved him more than anything and sold everything I owned prior to him as he requested, quit my job to stay home and be there for him and his son, and gave all my time and heart to loving him and his son and giving his son what he was lacking and help him grow in school. We did end up in lots of arguments in regards to these things over the year we were married. I also became very insecure and doubtful of his love when he had to admit to me he lied about a affair he had with his ex wife. He had swore to me on his dads grave and sons life he had not then later in the marriage had to admit he had lied when it come close to the custody trial. He swears to me even still that he loved me more than he had ever loved in his life and it was the hardest thing he had to do is divorce but since through anger I threatened it he gave it to me. And I left a time or two over him lying saying things would change but he would never follow through. Every other thing about us was amazing as a couple. I didnt want a divorce and begged him not to do it but he didnt trust it would be different (no arguing), He decided I was controlling instead of understanding I just wanted him to do what he said so i could rebuild trust in his words. We have been divorced a year now but were still seeing each other but now he has started seeing someone new and has her in our home and around his son. I have done all I know to get him back and to see our love but he refuses and says he dont trust it. I struggle with if he ever loved me or just used me for his convenience. Can you tell me if you think he did and if there is anyway to get back together? My heart is breaking without him and I know if he really loved me like he said there has to be a way to reach him. Thanks for reading and please give me what ever advise you have
@ImConfused68 You were together 2 years and married for 1 year. It looks like during this 1 year marriage you guys were faced with a lot stressful situations. I never want to say to someone your man didn't love you. But I would say this:
Love can only exist in a world of truth. If your husband's mind was on his ex-wife, getting custody of his son and other things when did he have time to think about making his marriage work? I'm not talking about the great sex or hanging out with you. That's easy...
I'm talking about the tough stuff like; working with you and talking with you about the marriage, understanding what you were going through, and how the two of you were going to make it work. Because this is what you do when you truly love someone and do not want to lose them through all that's going on.
Did he love you? From what I'm reading and only from what I'm reading I have to guess he really never got a chance to truly love you. I see too many distractions you are mentioning here. Then too he made "promises" then broke them repeatedly. He never really got in deep love with you.
I can say this because now he's with someone else and refusing to see the "love" the two of you had. He can't see this love, because he never really got to experience it with you in it's full glory. All he can see is the arguing, which to him was what the relationship was about more so than love.
I believe the timing may have been wrong for marriage. The ex-wife , the custody battles, the lies should all have been dealt with before entering into a new marriage. Especially being a relationship that is only 2 years old. It just isn't strong enough to handle such stress.
If he's seeing someone now, you need to be real with yourself. Do you think things would be different if you did get him back? Do you think he would just creep and continue to see this other woman? I know your heart is breaking, but it may break just the same if you get back with him.
Sometimes women feel that being with a man will change him or keep him from seeing other women and getting back with him will make all this go away. But that isn't always the case.
Getting back with him may fix your "broken heart" because you won the challenge of getting him back, but you'll be stressed out from dealing with the same things you dealt with in your marriage.
Don't think the new woman is riding off into the sunset with your ex and everything is a story book romance. I'm sure she's getting her share of disappointments too. She's not getting a better deal.
I would concentrate on you and getting yourself together. Make him miss you and see the wonderful life you are going on to have. This will soon get his attention. Whereas constantly calling him and texting him about getting back together will just drive him further away. If love was meant to be between the two of you it will come back around.
Don't push him on the issue of getting back together, you don't want to appear desperate which is a turn off to men. If he loves you, he will make it known. He may need to realize that this other woman isn't the one he really wants. And, It may take sometime for him to realize this. This is why it's important you keep your grace and inner beauty through all this so that he can see what he's truly missing out on.
It's been a year since you two have been apart. Get a new hair style, get in an aerobics class, find a new business venture and get your mind off him. The busier you are, the more you are bettering yourself, the more your heart can heal and the better you can see things in a new light.
This will be a slow road to go down, but you have to trust that you are deserving of so much better and that your life from here on out will be so much better. It gets easier with time to deal with things like this. And it can be done if you are willing to mend your broken heart and allow nature to take its course about you and him. Girl ...It's time to do you now.
If you want him back someday, tell him if he's willing to come back you're there for him, but you are not going to wait forever and leave it at that. That'll stick in his head. Then move on and start living again. I hope this helps.
@VIVIANNNA making sacrifices is surely a sign of love. Thanks for the comment!
Hi Shane! Thanks for Stopping by!
@Sharie The one thing about love is it does make sacrifices. And if he knows that you hearing the words "I Love You" will make you feel better, then this should be a sacrifice he makes for you too.
Love isn't sarcastic and it doesn't push purposely. If for some reason it does push or is sarcastic it will apologize so as not to hurt you.
Love protects and cares for you as well what you are feeling inside.
To say he loves you and stop being sarcastic for the purposes of pushing you to the limit will be the biggest sacrifice he'll need to make to prove his love. Actions speaks louder than words.
@100ktrainer Thanks so much for your encouraging words. You have told me what I have felt the whole time I have always doubted his love was True although he wont admit that it wasnt so that has kept me holding on to any sign or action from him that would prove his love was true.. Unfortunately only words can he give never any actions to follow. Yes my heart is breaking and I try to stay so busy to get my mind off him but it seems to consume me... I am going to try much harder to let him go. I have indeed made a fool of myself like there isnt another man in the world but I loved him that much. I have never been so weak.. My husband prior to him passed away after a 4 year battle with cancer and I was much stronger it seems through that. I think its because I knew I did all I could and he fought with all he had to beat the battle. He showed his love was true he just couldnt stay but this guy I think he was in love with what I stood for and offered not me. That I guess hurts the most knowing I gave up everything for him just to show my love and commitment was true but he wouldnt make a sacrifice one for me. Again thanks so much and I love your posts. Your doing a great thing here.
@ImConfused68 You are stronger than you think... I see it in your words here. You are very welcomed..
Hey, thanks so much to give me more insights about love.
I am falling in love with him. i am 22 and he is 21. We are coming from different countries. We've been together for 20 months. After 6 months, Our communication was bad. Up and down stories are happened to our life. But we tried to make it work, we tried to understand each other. what we got now, We are so much happy. I feel everything is perfect for us. He is trying always to make this relationship work, and so do I.
we spoke about holiday trip to my country for this July and December, we discussed about our plan for next few years, he wants me to continue study and he will do the same. Then last night, we spoke about our future. He said his parents can't allow him to married with foreigner, its about cultures. For me, my parents are allow me. Then he said "i want us still being together now, but I can't promise you about married for future". I told him that "I dont care about married now because im still young, for me i wanna spend the rest of my life with you until death of my life and you are part of my hearts". He said "I always want to wake up next to you everyday and bla bla". then I said "if you can't decide, just take your time to think about us". We love each others, but our situation force us to choose.
Can you give me advice please? I really appreciate it :)
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months and we've known eachother for. 4 years we tell eachother we love one another and he does so many things for me but yet I can't really believe he loves me I'm a very stubborn person and I don't really let people in so maybe that's the problem I use to think that he just wanted sex we haven't yet but its bound to happen anytime soon could he be using me to get what he wants?
Hi, just read all of your advice comments and you are so great. May I ask your advice on an issue I'm dealing with? My parents are quite strict with me in terms of boyfriends, due to religious beliefs. However, months ago I started talking to my daily bus driver, and we became really good friends. He even developed a nickname for me and vice versa. About two months ago however, we decided to hang out and go to the local beach, where he then told me he liked me. He said things like, "I can't help it, when I'm at home, doing simple things like watching tv, you just come into my mind." And other things like that. Truth be told, he's a lot older than me, and has been married twice but both times he divorced, he also has a few children, some of which are still young. On the drive back from the beach - while I was in shock - he told me that he respected me and my decisions. He knows of my religious beliefs and he also knows my parents would kill him - not literally - if they knew what he was saying to me. He said he understood that he was older, and that I am just beginning my life while he's lived a good chunk of his. But he said he wanted to be friends, even if we only ever spoke on the bus, or just by phone. He said he would respect my decision, even if it his heart wanted something different.
The thing is, when I first met him, I didn't think it was anything romantic. I honestly thought I had a really cool bus driver who wasn't rude! But after the day at the beach, I began thinking about him more, and started to realise that he was very special to me. I noticed how much he understood me. Well anyway, let me not bore you to death, but the thing I'm confused about is.....He seems genuinely interested in me, and seems to really like me. And although me and him are both showing signs of 'love', I'm not sure it would work out. I'm torn right now, half of me is thinking of what a great relationship it could be, and the other half of me is being practical and wondering where a relationship like this would leave me, in terms of my future and in terms of my relationship with my parents. I don't want to hurt anyone; and I definitely do not want to lose any friends. But, over the past few days I've noticed he's been more flirty, both in his texts and in his actual behaviour....I know it takes two to tango, but I can't help but think that his heart is starting to set on 'us' now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I'm scared that if I remind him it's just a friendship, it will turn awkward and he will continue to drop subtle hints that he 'wanted' more from 'us', even though he'd probably respect the decision. How do I deal with this? Also, we haven't even done anything 'physically', yet my conscience is feeling guilty. If you saw me and him walking down the street together, you would assume we were just friends, but my heart is telling me I'm not doing anything wrong, while my mind is scolding me for doing something wrong - perhaps this has some connection to my religious beliefs and my parents?
So basically, do you think a friendship, I mean a REAL friendship could exist between me and him after all of our underlying feelings have been revealed?
Thank you so much for reading, sorry to have bored you!!
We dated 6 years started off as bestfriends been knowing eachother since middle school we have a child together planned we recently broken up hes in love with me but just jumped in a relationship is that to make me jelous but he says he just needed company and she was there
I have a good one.. What if your loved one tells you that they love you but are scared because they never been loved so good before... They never been treated so good before? She says that she is happy and in happy with me but there are days that she is not...
Just like that last comment. My girlfriend and I been together for a few months or I should say offical for two nut been seeing each other for almost 7 months. I do a lot for her lime help her cook, clean, laundry everything that we do we both do it together. We never yet had an argument or other type of fights that go on in other relationships. She tells me that she never meets someone like me that we are compatible, we like the same things, and also that she loves me. Then she tells me that she is also scared because she never felt true love before, that her other relationships were douch bags. She is scared that its not true what we have and that she never felt like this..... Well I am just confused about the whole thing with her.... What do I do?
We dated 6 years started off as bestfriends been knowing eachother since middle school we have a child together planned we recently broken up hes in love with me but just jumped in a relationship is that to make me jelous but he says he just needed company and she was there
I am not always sure if my girlfriend loves me. She tells me she shows is by cooking and cleaning for me, but sometimes I don't feel it, because I can not even leave her alone by herself without feeling like she's talking about me in a negative way behind my back. She tells me she doesn't, but I never believe her. I know it's, because I don't trust her. Due to one family I had thrown out of her house. She would make remarks to him. I guess, I just feel like everyone will always be on her side and it's hard for me, because i don't have family close by. Her affection towards me has changed so much. She tells me she's in pain everyday and I know that to be true, but she also tells me it's because I am always in a bad mood. I tried getting it through her head that I am only like this, because I don't feel loved in some ways. We are not intimate together. She says she wants to get engaged next year and spend the rest of her life with me, but I'm not really sure if she loves me or if it's because I am the younger one who has my whole life ahead of me and a lot to offer. What do you think?
Hi my bf and I are in love but he is younger than me in 3 years i am 25 and he is 22 and i feel it is kinda weird, what do u think?
I also have a problem we have this crazy desire for eachother but we are being patient until married... We love eachother abd being decent but seems that i cant handle it anymore... What should i do to avoid any sexual contact or to captivate our crazy lust?!
See we never had these thoughts ever until we started to change our looks and shapes i lost weight and he gained muscles and since then we are going crazy
Hi, My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 months. We had known each other for over a year and she was actually trying to date a friend of mine so we never took time to know each other. I was teasing her one night and asked her to be my date for a new years party and she accepted and we have been dating ever since. In the beginning she was coming and staying 2-3 nights a week at my house. She has never asked me to stay at her house. She has two kids one is 19 and the other is 21. The 19 lives at home. In the last month or so I have noticed she is staying only 1 night a week with me now and it is usually on Saturday night. We leave for Hawaii Tuesday and last night I thought she might stay but she didn't. She told me that I was getting her for 8 days that I should understand that. I guess I am wondering if we are just falling back into being friends. We don't hold hands like we use to, we don't show affection like we use to and we have only been together sexually 3 times in the 5 months. I guess I am trying to figure out if we are still loving each other or is it time to just let it all go. I have never loved anyone the way I love her and I have told her this many time. I ever have come out at work and to my family because I am so proud of her. I am just so confused. Is there any way you can help me out?
I've been in a relationship with a man for 3 years and we thought the timing was right so we got married in Oct 2011. We have had a rather roller coaster relationship with alot of challenges and now 3 months after being married my "husband" has determined that some of my behaviors along with some of our past experiences has over stressed him (he also was a mild form of combat PTSD) and he is not able to live with me even tho he loves me. My question is how long will a LDR and so-called love exist in this situation. I'm going to continue my life as it is, because as we all know, we're dealing with the unknown. Any suggestions as far as a LDR??
Hi, I am married but I have been seeing another man for 7yrs. It has been very up & down & a have broken contact many times. He has a partner too but says he does not love her. He had a bad childhood & as a result he does not think he has ever loved anyone. He has told me he cares deeply for me but I have kept pushing him to leave his partner & declare his love for me but it causes huge rows & he gets angry and defensive. I have pursued him into the ground about it but despite that he keeps returning. There is 10 yrs between us I am 37 & he is 47 & I have 2 kids. He has told me b4 that he is not willing to raise my kids as he is at a different stage of life. I have also had a difficult childhood & up until I met him had never felt this way about anyone. My previous partners, even my husband I only chose Cos of their love for me not Cos of my love for them. But after a while I feel empty & restless, then I met this man & for 7 yrs my feelings for him have never cooled. The problem I have is threat I think he loves me, I believe I can feel it but he won't say it & if I push it he is nasty about it. Now I wonder if it is only me feeling it? He has told me that he cares about me a lot & he doesn't want to lose me Cos I have helped him learn do much about himself. but he says he finds the relationship too intense & my feelings scare him. He wants us to stay friends but I have told him declare your love for me or that's it.
But I spoke to him yesterday & he told me he has vanished & lost himself by returning to me & trying to be what I want, he says he can do it no longer. He said each time he had returned he did not do it Cos he wanted to but Cos he did not want to hurt me, Cos he felt guilty. He asked me to consider if we could be friends. He also said if I say something I shld stick by it, Cos often I will say it is over but a week later call him & try to start it again.
I have been thinking & I think I have been a fool. I think he does love me but I am in love with him, maybe even lust as I crave the physical side of our relationship intensely. I can see now that I have not listened to reason I am in love with him but I have not been loving him. I want to suggest we save the while relationship & not just be friends but lovers too, but that I change my behaviour & stop forcing the future when I shld enjoy the present. To stop trying to force him to love with the intensity I do as he won't but I don't think that means he doesn't love me? He has always said to stop pushing him Cos we are different & he can not duo what I do nor love like I do. Three question is if I come back now & try to rebuild out whole will he lose respect for me? Cos I told him if he didn't love me I had to walk away to keep my self respect. But I no longer believe that is true. I believe I wld be throwing away the best thing I have ever had thru my own impatience, fears and stupidity. This man who had told me he does not love our does not think he does has returned to me time and again to save my feelings & in doing so has destroyed himself to try to be what I wanted. He is depressed, he is smoking & drinking. He has told me it is not all my fault & he does it to himself & it is a result of his past. I hurt now for the way I have treated him. Cld it be that he does love me after all? I, want to give it one last go, change my ways & stop demanding & c him for him. I want him to know I do love him & show him by loving him not being in love with him. To appreciate him for him. I read somewhere that bring in love with someone is like a drug but that u try to fit that person into hope u want them to be & they become your world. When u love someone u except them for them u are loving to them. Am I right do I finally understand our shld I just walk away? Please help.
Hi, I am married but I have been seeing another man for 7yrs. It has been very up & down & a have broken contact many times. He has a partner too but says he does not love her. He had a bad childhood & as a result he does not think he has ever loved anyone. He has told me he cares deeply for me but I have kept pushing him to leave his partner & declare his love for me but it causes huge rows & he gets angry and defensive. I have pursued him into the ground about it but despite that he keeps returning. There is 10 yrs between us I am 37 & he is 47 & I have 2 kids. He has told me b4 that he is not willing to raise my kids as he is at a different stage of life. I have also had a difficult childhood & up until I met him had never felt this way about anyone. My previous partners, even my husband I only chose Cos of their love for me not Cos of my love for them. But after a while I feel empty & restless, then I met this man & for 7 yrs my feelings for him have never cooled. The problem I have is threat I think he loves me, I believe I can feel it but he won't say it & if I push it he is nasty about it. Now I wonder if it is only me feeling it? He has told me that he cares about me a lot & he doesn't want to lose me Cos I have helped him learn do much about himself. but he says he finds the relationship too intense & my feelings scare him. He wants us to stay friends but I have told him declare your love for me or that's it.
But I spoke to him yesterday & he told me he has vanished & lost himself by returning to me & trying to be what I want, he says he can do it no longer. He said each time he had returned he did not do it Cos he wanted to but Cos he did not want to hurt me, Cos he felt guilty. He asked me to consider if we could be friends. He also said if I say something I shld stick by it, Cos often I will say it is over but a week later call him & try to start it again.
I have been thinking & I think I have been a fool. I think he does love me but I am in love with him, maybe even lust as I crave the physical side of our relationship intensely. I can see now that I have not listened to reason I am in love with him but I have not been loving him. I want to suggest we save the while relationship & not just be friends but lovers too, but that I change my behaviour & stop forcing the future when I shld enjoy the present. To stop trying to force him to love with the intensity I do as he won't but I don't think that means he doesn't love me? He has always said to stop pushing him Cos we are different & he can not duo what I do nor love like I do. Three question is if I come back now & try to rebuild out whole will he lose respect for me? Cos I told him if he didn't love me I had to walk away to keep my self respect. But I no longer believe that is true. I believe I wld be throwing away the best thing I have ever had thru my own impatience, fears and stupidity. This man who had told me he does not love our does not think he does has returned to me time and again to save my feelings & in doing so has destroyed himself to try to be what I wanted. He is depressed, he is smoking & drinking. He has told me it is not all my fault & he does it to himself & it is a result of his past. I hurt now for the way I have treated him. Cld it be that he does love me after all? I, want to give it one last go, change my ways & stop demanding & c him for him. I want him to know I do love him & show him by loving him not being in love with him. To appreciate him for him. I read somewhere that bring in love with someone is like a drug but that u try to fit that person into hope u want them to be & they become your world. When u love someone u except them for them u are loving to them. Am I right do I finally understand our shld I just walk away? Please help.
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tessy 2 years ago
he call me names at any little mistake he says am not his kind when he is angry.at time he threaten to quit and pay me off and already have a child for him.